In the 1960’s Eric Berne developed the concept of
Transactional Analysis.
The foundation of this theory was that people have three primary “ego states” (Parent, Adult, & Child) that are developed in their early years from observing other people, and these ego states are accessed throughout their lives by various stimuli in their environment. The applications in selling are profound. Here’s a summary:
Parent:
There are two distinct dimensions to carry out the parental role.
- The
Critical Parent
tends to be opinionated and judgmental. Says things like “You should”…“Don’t do that”…“Be careful”…etc.
- The
Nurturing Parent
is the more helpful of the two. Says things like, “It’s okay”…“’Things will be fine”…”Don’t worry”…etc.
Adult:
The CEO of our personality. Gathers & evaluates info objectively; makes decisions on the facts; logical and objective. Says things like, “I think”…“In my opinion”…“How much?”… and asks open-ended questions to gather facts.
Child:
The Child is simply a bundle of unrestrained emotions. Filled with anxieties; creative and spontaneous; self-centered and fun loving. Says things like, “I’m afraid”…“I’m worried”…“I need help”…“I want”…etc.
People buy emotionally, and make decisions intellectually or logically.
We can go in and out of these ego states instantaneously based on the external stimuli we receive. Here’s the application in selling.
Salespeople should spend 50% of their time in the Nurturing Parent state, and 50% in the Adult state.
Be nurturing with your prospects (“I understand”…“That sounds serious”…etc.). In the
Adult
state ask questions to gather the facts (“Tell me more about that”…“How does that impact the company?”…“What have you done to fix it?”…“How do you feel about that?”…”Who else cares?”…etc.).
Prospects need to be in the emotional Child state initially, with their emotions taking charge
(“I’m concerned about”…“I need to do something”…“I want this problem to go away”…etc.). The
salesperson’s questions should stimulate these types of responses.
Then their logical Adult takes over and gives the Child permission to do something
(“Your solution makes sense”…“Let’s get started right away.”)
Salespeople must NEVER be in the Child ego state (“I need this business,” etc.) as it will cloud their judgment and make them ineffective at the investigating process.
Self-Study Assignment:
Can you recall any instances recently when you noticed the prospect go from one ego state to another? How about instances when you were in the Child ego state and were emotionally caught up in the sales opportunity? Did it cloud your judgment? Try to pay attention to these changes in your prospects when you’re on sales calls, and don’t get yourself caught up in the Child ego state.